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If the thought of sitting down to write your own wedding vows makes you feel unpleasant things deep down in your stomach region, you’re not alone. It did for us. And we don’t even mind writing. ** (if you’d like to skip right ahead to the full guide available for purchase click here).

It can feel like there’s immense pressure when it comes writing your own vows and saying something ‘worthy’ enough for the occasion. As people who bring words together for a living, this seemed magnified. We wanted our vows to be the perfect balance of funny, deep, moving – maybe even tear-jerking – and ultimately, ‘us’.

So when we first sat down to craft these magnificent pieces of prose, it was unsurprising that we blocked up. Stop us on the street and ask us what makes our husband’s good guys and you’ll regret it. We will batter your eardrums with the most upstanding character references and proclamations of love. But tell us to condense this into one minute, stand in front of all the most important people in your life and speak them aloud and, well, it’s a bit of a different story.

So, with this in mind, we thought we’d make a guide to writing your own awesome wedding vows. Because don’t you dare even think about not doing this. We mean it.

While it might seem daunting, there is something so unbelievably powerful about saying words that you’ve personally written. We’ve said in the past that this might have even been our favourite moment from our own weddings.

Tseting Title

Pro: writing them together might make the job easier and you get to make promises that you both agree on and find important

Con: the vows may feel slightly impersonal there won’t be much individual person-specific stuff (since you’ll both be saying the same thing)

Have different vows but work on them together

Write individual vows for each other but then share your vows with each other in advance so you both know that they are similar in length and tone.

Pro: your vows will feel super personal as you now get to add in person-specific references. You can include things you love (or even hate – in a joking way) about your partner, which make the vows really memorable and fun for your guests to hear.

Con: while it will undoubtedly be an emotional moment when you read your vows to each other on the big day, there’ll be an element of familiarity as you’ve already read them ahead of the wedding.

Have different vows and keep them a surprise for the day

Write individual vows and don’t share them until you’re standing in front of one another reading them for the first time.